I love hearing from you and I always try to personally respond to your questions. I’m thrilled to provide a question and answer segment on Crazy Perfect Life. Once a month I’ll be answering a few of the questions I receive. Your name will never be used but this way other people can benefit from hearing some of the questions I repeatedly get.

We can learn from one another and this makes each of us better.

Question:

Dear Dara,

I’ve been feeling really sad lately and can’t seem to get over missing my mom. Can you give me any advice on this?

Answer:

I get it. Completely. I understand how it feels to experience sadness from missing a loved one. It’s painful to lose someone you care about and love. It doesn’t matter what the relationship is, loving someone and losing them is a reality of life that can be very difficult to make peace with. It’s OK to feel sad and miss someone. In fact, it’s normal. Let yourself feel the pain, be patient with yourself and give yourself time. You can’t fall apart though. You have to keep on keeping on. You do this one day at a time. Allow yourself the grace you need and grant yourself  permission to have those “sad” moments. Lean on your friends and family during this difficult time. Seek out a counselor or religious leader and talk with an individual who can provide a safe place for you to share your feelings. Cherish your memories and I hope in time, you will find peace and comfort in these.

Question:

Dear Dara,

How can I slow down and enjoy each day when my “to do” list is so long I can’t even get it done.

Answer:

This is a good one and I’m glad it was asked. In fact, I hear it almost everyday from someone who messages me on social media. We’re all busy. I get it. Here’s the thing, you can be a slave to your “to do” list, or you can make the

commitment to slow down a bit and take time for yourself each day. Everyone has responsibilities: work, family, volunteer commitments, the list goes on and on. I believe you also have a responsibility to yourself. To take a little time each day to unwind, relax and slow down. You have to make this a priority. It’s a choice you can decide to make.

You might think you have to get everything on your “to do” list done, but you don’t. I’m pretty sure it will be there tomorrow and the next day and the next. I’m not saying put off doing what needs to be done. I’m just suggesting you do what must be done and give yourself a little room to relax and slow down. It’s no fun to feel stressed and overwhelmed and it sure isn’t the formula for happiness. Allow yourself time to do nothing. I promise you’ll be glad you did. You might even find you’re more efficient after having a little downtime. Don’t feel guilty about accomplishing a little less to make room for doing something fun. Give yourself permission to take the time to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.

Question:

Dear Dara,

My best friend just got diagnosed with cancer and I don’t know what to do. I want to help her but she doesn’t seem to want me to do anything. What do you suggest?

Answer:

Sadly, most of us will have close friends and family who will go through a cancer diagnosis. We might even go through it ourselves. If your friend recently received a cancer diagnosis, she’s probably still in shock. Give her a little space to process what she has to deal with and get the facts. She’s likely meeting with a lot of doctors and putting together a treatment plan. Letting her know you care by sending her text messages, cards in the mail and dropping off little goodies will let her know you’re thinking about her. If she needs to have chemotherapy or radiation, there will be plenty of time for you to help with meals, grocery shopping and depending on the ages of her kids, assisting with her family. She will need the support of her friends and family and your love is what will carry her through this difficult time. Don’t feel frustrated if she doesn’t respond to your messages or take you up on your offer to talk. Just give her time. She’ll come around and need your more than ever.

 

If you have a question you want answered, you can email me at dara@crazyperfectlife.com or send me a message on social media. I try to respond to every message I get and won’t use your name if I ever use your question on Crazy Perfect Life.

Find meaning each day,

Dara

If you enjoyed this post, check out: https://crazyperfectlife.com/world-news/

Here’s my most recent Huffington Post article: 6 Lessons I Learned From Cancer. I’ll be posting an article on the HP each week, but don’t worry, I’ll always send you the link!